Bringing up Brynley

Wake up and get dressed. Brush hair for 2 seconds. Kids are crying. No makeup.Get kids dressed. Brynley whines at every outfit I pick out for her. She wants to wear her pajamas…purple pants with ballerinas on them. I let her. She picks out pink socks. Nice!
Feed kids and myself. Feed animals. Drink decaf coffee. Watch Veggie Tales while I make a grocery list. Look around the house. ‘I need to clean. I need new couches.’ Guilt.
Internet not working. Glad I pay so much money for it.
Run errands. Dare to take Bryn out without diapers on. Crazy.
Struggled with the doors at the bank. Holding toddler’s hand and pushing baby in stroller. Why don’t they have automated doors for those in wheelchairs? (Or frazzled moms pushing clunky strollers!) Ask B if she need s to use potty. No.
Next stop: another bank. Don’t ask. Drive-thru. YES!
Grocery store. Get kids out of car. Bryn announces, “Dry!” while pointing to her pants. So happy! Praise her as if she has just won the Tour De France.
A woman walks by me and says, “Boy, you have your hands full!” and all I can do is smile instead of saying that, yes, while my hands are full…so is my heart.
Brynley wants the car cart. Big and awkward. She sits in it for less than 3 minutes. Now I’m stuck pushing a cart the size of a tractor trailer and about as easy to handle.
Ask B if she needs to use the potty. No.
B throws a fit over food that she wants to eat now. She is hungry. So am I. Roman is quiet.
Run into every display in the store with my gigantic car-cart. Apologize to many people after nearly ramming their ankles. Think about all I am committed to do this week. Think of my years of unfinished projects. Guilt.
Pay for groceries and load everyone in car. Roman starts screaming. He’s hungry.
Give Bryn food to eat in the car. Super Mom. Guilt. At least she’s dry.
Home. Unload car. Toddler covered in urine. Carseat too. Yay!
Feed hungry baby, feed hungry mommy. Look at my towel-curtains. Yes, really. It used to be sheets. For years now. Guilt.
Bryn makes up a song about polka dots. Pure joy! J
Almost Bryn’s naptime. Need to call hospital and check on my Dad. I should take more pictures of kids and upload them. I should clean the kitchen. Or clip coupons. Or give some attention to my poor dogs. Or decorate for fall before it becomes winter. Or throw the carseat cover in the washer. I’ll probably just collapse on the couch instead!
Sitting on that old beat-up couch while my children nap, I will try to release the guilt and the never-ending to do list. And be still. And be grateful. Grateful that I have hands to hold, mouths to feed, animals to pet, a roof over my head. And remember that, although life throws us curveballs and sometimes it is tough to be a frazzled mom, I am truly blessed.
(Of course, both kids napping at the same time is theoretical…)